Asking the Hard Questions

how to work from homeI was left with my mouth hanging open and a bland expression on my face today.

My nearly 4 year old accosted me with questions I was in no way prepared to answer.

As as went for our morning walk, after a few moments of silence he turned to me and asked me why I had no baby in my belly? He then proceeded to tell me all the thing he wanted to do with his baby brother and baby sister, he even volunteered names!

We have quite a few friends who are pregnant, or who have babies under 6 months, and alot of Jett’s friends have become or are becoming big brothers, so I am assuming that all these things may have been the catalyst, but I was surprised that they had registered enough for him to turn the situation around and start questioning why he was an only child.

I really had nothing to say, no real excuse about why their was no other baby on the way. Jess and I have always wanted to make sure we could provide for all our children equally, I could never understand having 10 children but not having the money to be able to provide for them well, and it may seem silly but I also felt that 4 years later was just too late to even contemplate getting pregnant again.

We also had talked about adoption as every time I looked at Jett I thought it grossly unfair that there are children that dont even have access to basic living standards and a caring Mum and Dad. And we had started to look into from the outskirts, but hadn’t actually made any concrete steps in that direction

But having him ask this question caused me to wonder whether he was missing out, he is such a tender nurturing boy, when he was at daycare he was never a day sleeper, so his carer used to take him into the baby room and he would give them there bottles and pop their dummies back in their mouths. Really a sweet boy with a lot of love to give.

The next question came out of the blue also, “What’s God?”

This is quite a hard question to answer when you are Agnostic. Yes I believe there is some sort of energy that surrounds us but personally I can’t attach a name to it. But I didn’t feel comfortable getting into the explanation of “God” without giving all other Religions an explanation as well, and that’s alot of information for a 3 year old to wrap his head around. My husband also comes from a family of Buddhists, they own a Center back in New Zealand which Jett has stayed at, and of course spent time with Monks/Nuns etc so thats obviously something else that has to be taken into consideration as, as I mentioned the different types of Gods, as I came to Buddha that sent him off on a tangent about Grandad house (The Center) and does that mean Grandad knows God?


I really just want Jett to be open to all religions, its up to him which path he takes anyway. All I want to do is make sure I raise him as a kind, compassionate person that is open to life and all its possibilities.

As for him having a sibling (he is requesting a sister right at this moment!) I think Jess and I really need to get our butts into gear and actually book in for some interviews with Adoption Services, until then he may just have to play honorary big brother to all the little babies around us.

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~ by Sam on April 16, 2012.

2 Responses to “Asking the Hard Questions”

  1. Hi Sam, thanks for your honest post. Don’t you love the ease with which our children ask these questions? I had my first child at 34, and wasn’t sure if I’d had another. My son Luke prayed and prayed for a sister! Finally at 40, we conceived again (we weren’t trying one way or another), so they are 5 years apart. Now Lily wants a sister too, but I can tell you that AIN’T gonna happen!! xx

  2. I guess these questions are inevitable. Sam I just loved reading your post. You never cease to amaze me with your mature outlook. Your post showed so much about you – your loving, compassionate and honest nature. I am so proud of you. Whatever you and Jess decide to do I’m sure it wil be right. xxx

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